Stepping Out

2007-01-29T16:49:00.000-08:00

Has it really almost been a year since I last posted? Unbelievable...

Well, gosh. Kinda a lot has happened over the past year. Lemme see. I got recruited out of Valassis in what might have been the worst mistake of the year...

I got a call from a recruiter while sitting in my comfy cube one morning. His name is Frank, if I remember correctly. He proceeded to tell me of a great opportunity with a company in Detroit, called American Mailers. It would be a step into management and a big bump in pay. Well, being somewhat disenchanted with Valassis, I went for an interview and should have realized what a hole the place was before I even walked in. The building is run down, and in a very not nice area of Detroit, amidst burnt out and grafitti-covered buildings. Druggies and prostitutes are not an uncommon sight.

Despite a horrid feeling I had about the place, I decided to go with the dollar signs. Big mistake. Almost immediately walkingthrough the door I was declared ineffective by the other management staff. There was no welcoming committee, no happy 'hello!' from a soul outside my new team. For the next three months everything productive I try to implement is met by angry emails and nonsupport from even my new boss. I quickly lose interest in doing anything for the place... And I spend the final month of my employment there using their Internet to surf Career Builder.

In the mean time, my girlfriend of almost a year decides she wants to relocate to Virginia Beach, VA. accepting a position with Lillian Vernon, a catalog company. The stars in her eyes over a company hocking value-priced goods are far too bright to be extinguished by the blanket of reasonability. And I, perhaps in bonehead move #2 of the year, decide I should look in that area for my new job as well.

I should point out that the girlfriend never asked me to join her. In fact it was pretty plain she did not want me there. I didn't listen to that warning sign either, and now here I am. Living with lesbian room mates in Portsmouth, VA. and very recently broken up with a major reason for me being down here. She claims that she doesn't love me and doesn't think she ever will. I suppose you have to respect her honesty. After stating this she claims that it seems I don't want to put any effort into keeping her. Um, hello?

Anyone who has been decisively removed from the life of someone they care deeply for knows exactly the feelings I am visiting. Tight chest, stomache twinges, severe sense of worthlessness. At least now, a few days after the fact, I can sleep and breathe again. I want to take her back. I know I shouldn't.

So daily I go to my new position with a company given any other circumstances would definitely be my ideal choice, and I long for nothing more than what I left behind. Figures. I contact people from my past a lot lately. Sister Holly, Lauren, Jimie, Craig, Mother, Old Hatfield, and of course my family, you have all been awesome in making me feel not so alone. I need this more than you can know. If I could pack up tomorrow and head back to you all, I would do so. It would hurt to leave behind someone who has captured a large piece of my heart, but it is more than likely a piece that won't be any good ever again, not with her at any rate.

I know there is no going back to Valassis, no going back to the fun times had with such great people, no retrieving the warm feelings of getting to know a new love there. And so I start the cycle again. Hopefully, when I arrive this time it will be with my old walk, one I though it would be safe to leave just for a little while... Take it from me. I am in friggin Virginia with an ex-girlfriend and a house full of lesbos as my only company. Don't fail to listen to that voice, followers. It is there for a reason. Think of all the crap I could have avoided...

In summation, I apologize again for being a terrible example. I apologize for being blinded, and wanting something that was very apparently wrong. I hope that I can rebound as quickly as I was able to spiral. Please forgive me, friends, and I hop eto be back with you all as soon as God wills it. (Please Lord, let that be soon!)

Dave the kinda Pentecostal.

2006-02-13T17:47:00.000-08:00

Things Continue

I went back to my church for the first time in a long time and found out all over again why I left. It just wasn't right. While I loved seeing the old gang again, it felt less like a reunion and more of a, how do I put this? I suppose this is what it feels like to return home after going through rehab. That is a pretty good way of describing it, actually. Those who approached me seemed genuine enough, however it wasn't without a hint of sympathy. Some people I considered myself pretty close to didn't say more than an aggravated 'hello' while others yet walked right on by without so much as a look. How is that for welcome?

I know it isn't about others, it is about my personal relationship with God. However atmosphere plays a vital role in worship. I don't remember where it says this, but somewhere in our thick book it states to not allow things to go unresolved between brothers and sisters, that things should be worked out. While I know my desire to stay close to God is still there, the motivation to make good (it that what it is?) with those at that church feels unnecessary. I feel that I am not really meant to fit in with that church, rather a few members from that church that I might still associate with outside. I guess it isn't my place anymore afterall.

I did go to Kensington church in Royal Oak recently. Despite its size, it had a good feel to it. To top it off, I actually managed to talk Rachel in going. Small steps lead to larger. Who knows if she and I are meant for anything other than an ambassador's role to the fellowship of Christ, but if that is what it becomes I am more than honored. Use me, please.

So I continue to go. Falling sometimes, getting up also. I just wish I wasn't so blind to his plan at the moment. My ears and heart remain open.

Does anyone have anything uplifting to share? I could use a praise report!

Peace and comfort be with you. Love as always.

2006-01-20T19:08:00.000-08:00

If I survive armageddon, I might just survive the masters program.

Honestly, I didn't know what I was getting myself in to. Tonight I wrote 2 papers and prepared a presentation for 2 people for tomorrow's class. For ONE stinking class. I feel as though my eyes may start to bleed at any moment. Ah well, I wanted to blog a bit since I haven't done so in a few weeks.

Things are still a little rocky in my walk, probably just because I have yet to return to church. I am determined to make it this week! I really miss spending time with Christians, and know that the lack of encouragement from my brothers and sisters has hurt me worse than I know. So I look forward to seeing y'all again, and hope you can forgive me for being not the best brother, myself.

One of the youth I used to lead is now in a juvinile home. Typical story of a broken home, abusive father type.... Somewhat of a deadbeat mother... He needed someone to rely on and I bailed on him. I am going to get his address and write to him. I know I am an imperfect example for him, but I do care about him so that should count for something. Perhaps it isn't too late to help him. I pray it isn't.

Well folks, I am just beat! That is my only explanation for the somewhat scatterbrained post tonight. I miss you all and hope to see you soon. Time for bed.

2006-01-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

The Waves Subside, Yet Rocks Remain

And just as simply I feel relieved. I don't know what exactly had been keeping me from opening up to the people whom I know would listen and offer not only an ear, but also a genuine concern. Today I spoke with two such individuals. Thank you both! I have been reminded that if true forgiveness is sought, it is but an asking away. And though I know I am forgiven, I am still scared.

The past few months have landed me in some ca-ca. Such ca-ca must still be dealt with, and now resolve is necessary to ensure recovery. An awkward return to the church and the friends I have taken for granted. Breaking old habits I thought once broken, now returned. And most difficult, handling a certain someone who it just won't work with, unless she *reeeaaaaaally* starts opening her heart up to His truth, which I think is about as likely as is my becoming a woman.

She is not a bad person, and in fairness she is often a good time to be with. She just has issues with drinking, sexuality, and an overblown, self-imposed allergy to anything having to do with Christ. This, I have known all along, just won't work for me. I need another believer.

Amazing how what you know is right sometimes takes a back seat to what your mind wants to create. I cannot change her, just as she will not change me. Moving on...

2006-01-05T19:22:00.000-08:00

The Long Crawl Back to OK? Better? Hmmm...

Strange how my last post was about stepping down from youth group and now things seem to be spiraling. No, that isn't quite right, things have been spiraling and I think I may have caught them and leveled off somewhere right above trouble. I went off walking, knowing I was hearing. But somewhere along the road I stopped wanting to hear. Perhaps He has been shouting this entire time, but present circumstances have dampered it to a decibel level below my audible range?

Ok, enough cryptic messages. Much has happened. My father was let go from one of the 'Top 100 Companies' to work for right before Christmas. Instant family drama and a happy new year. This company happens to be the same one for which I work, and layoffs are about the worst of their most recent attempts to recover from their own mistakes. Funny. The decision makers responsible for a great loss of profit are laying off those who followed thier instruction that led to it. Not funny. Disgusting.

Alongside the cuts come tuition reimbursement being cut from full to 75%. Still very generous, but for those of us on very tight budgets and timed Masters programs, it becomes undoable. Perhaps I can flip burgers! Listen to me I am so ungrateful, but hey we all rant from time to time.

These items are the icing.

The real problem is much more difficult to describe, but on a high level it involves me (stupid me) losing sight of my walk and ending up off the path and into the woods. Very recently I had they youth group, which by the way I would be out of now anyways, as the new pastors seem to have cleaned house (looks like I was right to step down) and none but one of the old leaders remain, but I actively searched for where he was to take me next. And somewhere along the line I stopped looking.

My Lord, please forgive me for becoming blinded. My arrogance seems to have gotten me into more trouble from which I require deliverance. Please forgive a lacking servant once more and bring me back into your plan for me. I have strayed from your church, your fellowship, your listening ear, and worse, your rules. *sigh* I would give up on me by now...

2005-10-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight I told my youth pastor I was stepping down from youth. I have felt lately that I may be getting pulled into other areas of my life/service and today's youth program somewhat solidified the notion. I normally take attendance for the youth group, noting new attendees and take down their information. The new youth pastor took the folder from me as I was starting my duties and completed role for me without saying a word about it. Taking a seat amongst the youth, and watching my duties fulfilled by the new leadership, I was hit with a sudden thought.

'This is no longer your place. You are not needed here anymore.'

So it came like that. What I don't know is was it just me thinking that or have my hunches of the past few weeks finally come to fact? I cannot imagine this is merely an attempt at trying to break out of a sometimes uncomfortable service, as it hurts far too much. I haven't told the youth, and most of them left me saying "Later, Davymer, take care!" as they always do. For the first time in I don't know how long, I find myself upset to the point of tears. So it must be real, eh?

So I am torn a bit right now, though I do feel led. I have learned my lesson about staying put when He tells me to move it. This is a problem I have had in the past, where I pray and pray for Him to deliver me into or from a situation, have done none of what He has instructed me to do, and wondered why oh why am I getting nowhere nearer to where I should be? Stepping Out in Faith is part of what it means to be Christian. I have taken great steps in the past, and He has not ever let me fall. I look forward to what this transition period has in store for me. A potential growth in faith? Promotion in life? Fruit stuffed french toast at IHOP?

I love y'all youth, I'll see you around.

2005-10-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

Revelations, schmevalations

Ok, it has been a little while since I have experienced anything out-of-the-ordinary, so I think I may be out of the woods on the whole 'God is screaming at me' thing. I haven't had any burning bushes or parted waters to put a period at the end of the message, so I am just going to speculate what He could want from me.

1) Youth group: He wants me to make a decision. With new, more intensified responsibilities being placed on youth leaders, and more time being required of them, I have come to the conclusion that I have to step down for the time being. I recently started the MBA program, and with a heavier class load in the future I would not be able to dedicate more than the 2 days a week I already dedicate. I will still be available to counsel and hang out on special occasions, but they demand commitment, and at this time that is just not possible.

2) Church: 'You are free to move into new realms in your life.' I have felt for a while that this church might not be the perfect fit for me, so I am going to look elsewhere. I don't know that I have been released from my current place, or even if I will be upon looking elsewhere, but I do know I should be looking around. I got that much out of the message. This point remains open, and plays a part in deciding to step down from youth.

3) Vehicular agitation: I need to drive more safely. God will protect His own, but not if they continue to act stupidly. I need to be less hasty. I relayed the message he wanted me to to the youth group, and it certainly helped to strenghthen the message that evening, but I really don't think there will be any repeat performances.

This is all just my speculation based on what I have been through during the past two weeks. I still await anything more He may want to show me and remain openminded and open-hearted. Please don't stop talking to me.

2005-10-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! 92 on my first exam in over 2 years! I'm happy. Have another exam in 2 weeks and a paper due this week. ACK! Have to study why am I blogging?

2005-10-18T04:42:00.000-07:00

I have a decision to make and I think God may be leaving this one to me. I have been a youth leader for almost 2 years now, and I have grown to care very much for the ministry. The youth pastor, or should I say interim youth pastor, has been Elder Lenny, a guy I have grown to respect very much. He's the kind of person who you go to when you are stumped, and he normally has some very good advice. A wise man, if you will. Over the weekend, myself and two other youth leaders were pulled in for what we thought would be an update meeting, and were informed that Lenny was leaving the youth as of November.

Two people, Kevin and Barb Elliot, are taking over the job. They are parents of several of the youth and are from what I can tell pretty decent people. I was told that they would be conducting 'interviews' of current youth leaders to see who they want to keep.

Lenny went on to say that he was greatful for everyone's help and that a few of the leaders have not come as far as he had hoped and some had surpassed expectations. And though I am of the latter of the group, I still feel a nagging hesitation inside me to continue. For a few reasons.

list time
1) Youth Rally. God's message for me came loud and clear at the youth rally on the 5th of October. Risks. You will get nowhere without taking them. There were many messages delivered that night, but the one I know spoke to me was that one. I have been a chicken for so long. BA-GAWK!

2) Sunday of the 9th. There was a great sermon, and God gives me a little more. Part of Christianity is evangelism. So move out. And, and this is what hit me (You know when the message hits you because suddenly all you can do is pay attention. This is for *you*.) 'It is now ok for you to move into that new realm or area.' This message related very closely to the one that got me to quit my old job (You have circled the mountain long enough, go north!) and landed me at Valassis.

3) Elder Lenny. "You need to evaluate whether or not you still feel called to this ministry. I never was called to it. I have just been filling in. When you are called to something it becomes more of a joy than a labor, and this has become a labor for me."

I know that these three points are connected, but I still feel as though I am missing an element. One small message that will make it clear, so I continue to wait. For the fourth and final little thing.

You know when the little things start pointing in the same direction, but you still are not sure if you are hearing what you are to do vs. what you want to hear? So, if I seem a bit tired, confused, preoccupied, etc please forgive me it is not intentional. It seems like my spiritual life over the past two years is slowly starting to unravel. I know it isn't, my faith is unshaken, but it is a time of transition, and all times of transition come with unease. Change sucks.

2005-10-11T12:20:00.000-07:00

You can't save me. You can't change me. Now wow chow bow low lemmings was, gna wha bo doo bee day. Rinse and repeat. Why won't Jimie turn his radio up? From this volume, all songs sound muffled to the point at which I can only guess at the lyrics. Oh, another favorite of mine! Is zchama joobee joobest, joobest, joobest, joobest jo joooob? I really need an Ipod. Between the half songs and convenience store dialect of the consultants, this place is driving me nuts of late. Oh good, here comes mother. She probably wants food. Mother is perpetally hungry. Like a spider. I fear for her children in the event of a hollocaust. Of course Ron, her husband, would probably be eaten first. That's right mother, go back to your desk and drink your coffee.

Went to lunch with FEZ today. Red Robin is delicious, and it took little effort to down yet another A1 Peppercorn Burger. Forgot to pray before I ate again. I always do that. Often, brothers and sisters glare at me disapprovingly as I take my first bite. Thats ok, though. Jesus loves me despite all of my first sinful, unblessed bites of various meals. FEZ told me about a girl who he is meeting over the weekend. She is a serious Christian (yes!) that has a boyfriend who is a tool. Nothing unusual there. They are all dating tools. A girl in my complex, Laura, is a completely nice girl who is dating a guy that won't look at you if he has no use for you. Another girl I am no longer interested in is dating a second choice after turning me down because I won't have sex out of wedlock anymore.

Meetings and more meetings today. Professionalism. Again. How many times in how many ways can people tell me not to type in all caps in my business correspondence? One more apparently. Oh well, at least it's done. Now I have to listen to mother talk about postal processes with our people in Costa Mesa. Wish I was there. Oh well, Livonia is nice in the springtime. Only 6 months to go. That reminds me, I need snow tires.

Well everyone (does anyone actually read these outside small groups of friends?), I am off. See you later.

2005-10-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

Some people wear pants.

I am in a bowling league now. It is expensive and I suck horribly. Also in this league are 3 coworkers who suck at varying degrees. One complains constantly about whatever is on her mind. Another one oogles every guy in the place. The final one orders drinks until everyone involved is belligerently inebriated. I merely sit by and wonder who stopped the rain. Come on by and watch us some time. We are sure to impress.

2005-10-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

The difference between what's up here and what's in there

This weekend I taught Sunday school. Well, I tried anyways. I team up with another youth leader every other week and deliver a message based upon a curriculum or whatever the Spirit has placed on us over the past two weeks. This week we had an evaluation. This meant that the wife of the Christian Ministries Director sat in the class to 'check it out'. Her name is Dawn. Great. Pressure.

Now in order to fully understand my dilemma, you have to know this other youth leader. He's a good friend of mine, and he is excellent with the gift of gab. He's a talker. The only problem with this is he is not often a shutter-upper. Being of the more quiet variety, I often throw in my parts when I can and when I know I have to get a point across. He and I have a great dynamic teaching youth, and the students normally appear pretty geeked when they see it is our turn.

This particular session went horribly for me because as it turns out, Dawn is also a talker.

I tried to get a word in edgewise, but between the two very vocal folks I stood no chance. It was almost like a dance, one person's sentence followed within milliseconds of the other's leaving next to no time to jump in with a 'hello, I am here too' point of interest. I think I got out 3 sentences, my worst performance in a church class yet.

Classes like those leave me wondering if I truly am called to teach. I know I love the youth, and I want very much to be involved to help them, if I can, avoid some of the garbage I went through when I was their age. At the same time I realize that I am not perfect. What runs through my head is a mess of determination/worry that resembles something like this: 'You know you can do some good-you are worse than they are, what can you teach them, sinner?-but you have seen people come out of their shells, had parents come to you thanking you, gained the respect of your church elders-you know you are unfit, why bother?'

I suppose it comes down to what I know. Not what my mind keeps telling me I know, but what the Spirit keeps telling my heart. If you are a Christian you know what I mean when I talk about that feeling you get in your heart when faced with the tough calls. If your heart lets you *know* something is right, you had best not ignore it. Adversely if you know something is not right, know it in your heart and feel it crushing down on you to the point of it ruling your thoughts and emotions, then you know exactly what you have to do. So although I may sometimes feel worn out and worry that I am not worthy to be teaching His youth I am going to continue until He takes me from the place He has planted me and places me elsewhere.

"My sheep hear My Voice, and I know them, and they follow Me" (John 10:27)

You know His voice. Listen to that one!

2005-09-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

8 and out.

Yesterday I was in a foul mood. That's putting it lightly. I was downright unapproachable for about an hour or two after I woke up. People greet me as I approach my cube every morning, and yesterday I could respond with nothing better than a grunt until I hit coffee number 3. The whole day seemed to work to keep me bitter. Work was going poorly, redo after redo, and with each new phone call my profanities grew more... profain? I had to skip lunch, and ended up taking only short breaks while staying at my work area all day.

I finished my work day by walking paperwork upstairs to the appropriate people and cooled off by talking hunting with Jim and housework with Mr. Cooper. Going down to the gym, it took about 5 miles and 1.5 hours on various machines to finish off the bad mood. Basically the day was a blur. Until I got to my folks' home.

My mother was gone to church at a meeting, so I sat down and ate in the living room and watched a little tv with my father and sister. We were watching a program called 'medical mysteries' and on this particluar edition there was a story on a disease called Progeria. According to the program, Progeria is a rare, fatal genetic condition characterized by an appearance of accelerated aging in children. It followed the story of two young children, Ashley and John, who were both afflicted with Progeria. http://www.progeriaresearch.org/

The two, at the time of the taping, were 8 years old and had the physical makeup of people much, much older. John had already suffered two strokes, and the two both required oxygen tanks close at hand in event of emergencies. The program finished by stating 'When progeria patients say goodbye at these conventions, they don't know who will be returning next year. When they say goodbye, they mean it.' John passed in 2004.

The show reminded me of my time spent working at SCAMP, a summer camp program for (what is the PC term nowadays, anyway? handicapped?) less-fortunate children. One thing I remember most about that time is that the people there (children, teachers, volunteers) do not have an ounce of hatred or bias in them. There is only a very real love and acceptance.

So once more, I was given the privilage of getting to know truly what it means to live for the moment. Not only through the eyes of young children who know for a fact their time is more limited than most, but also through the eyes of desperate parents who cannot imagine life before their children came to them. They know what is important and what isn't. And now, at least until the phone rings, so do I.

2005-09-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

Some People

I have the pleasure of knowing many genuinely good, caring people. My friend from church is one of these. He's the kind of person who is not only a good friend, but also a good listener. Some people just don't care to listen or cannot handle conversation that involves any kind of emotional content. I have another friend that is one of these. Actually several. And even though I have known these people for years and years, they are not considered close by any standard, no where near church buddy.

Then you have the other side of the coin. People who are naturally cruel. I work with a few of these. One in particular I cannot stomach at the time being. I don't want to go into a rant that I will regret in time, but I will say this: If you are going to act like a friend, act like a friend. Acquaintances; act like acquaintances, and for the love of all that is good if you don't like me Do Not Act Like You Do.

That's all I am going to say.

2005-09-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten

I went yesterday evening to register for a class that begins tonight, my first class in over two years since completing my undergrad. I walked into the office, and realized just how ill-prepared I was for this encounter. A very pleasant woman greets me, "Hello, how can I help you?"

I think I got out something resembling "Yeah, I spoke with someone, umm, Joan, I think, and she told me I was ready to register for class tomorrow. Today. Class starts tomorrow. Oh geez..."

"Ok... Name?" she thinks I am drunk, I know it, for aside from my broken speech patterns resulting from a loss of registration ability I came in to the office wearing my workout clothes having come straight from the gym. I look like a bum, and speak like G.W.

I give her my name and she pulls up my file. "It looks like you have 14 classes to graduate. Fill out this form, and we will have you registered."

This was one class more than Joan had told me I was responsible for, and upon questioning I am informed that she had made an error and I actually do have to take the extra after all. Well phooey, Valassis won't miss that extra tuition money, but it will push my completion back a semester.

I make my way out of the office and to the bookstore just down the hall. Immediately I notice the hoodies. I LOVE hooded sweatshirts, so comfy! So I grab my book and then sift through the racks until I find just the right one. 25% off? SOLD!

Impressed with my keen eye, I proceed to checkout and wait my turn. One book. One notepad. One reduced price hoodie. $204.34. The book was $153.00! I had actually managed to forget how expensive college books are! What makes it worse is when I try to sell it back, I will most likely get the whole 'oh, we are changing editions; here is your $3.00.' GRRRR!

Since I made this spur of the moment higher education decision I have been wondering if it is within God's plan for me, or if I am being greedy, selfish, etc. I pray I have not made a very expensive mistake.

Here goes.

2005-09-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

Altercations and Accusations

This week has been a good one for commuting. Between the accident on Monday and the resultant closed lanes on the freeway affecting the immediate and surrounding areas I have yet to arrive to work on time. This morning was the worst case yet, as I woke up one minute before my scheduled departure time.

So I am driving. I come to a familiar intersection where I have to stop and wait for an opening to proceed straight through the intersection. The speed limit on the intersecting street is 35, so it is fairly easy to get through this part of my jaunt, so I pick a spot between a pickup truck and a brown minivan and continue on my way.

As I complete my move through the intersection, I am very quickly joined by my friend Mr. or Ms Minivan, who apparently at some point in our short introduction had gained an interest in examining my vehicle's hindquarters at close range while in motion. Normally I am pretty upset with tailgating. This morning, however, I was too sleepy to become annoyed and I continued driving as if everything was fine. So for about a mile of driving my Neon Nurse Shark with Brown Town and Country Remora attached firmly to my hiney we approach the next stop sign awaiting a left turn. Remora detaches, rolls down window and pull along side me, looking me in the eye intently. A string of questions ensues.

*Have I got a tail light out? Need directions? Flat tire? What?!?*

I am stared at for several seconds. The expression goes from angry to hesitant. Then, realizing that I am not going to begin chewing on her, I am instead (greeted?) by a not unattractive older woman. "I have a little boy in the vehicle with me, next time could you try not to kill us?"

And as most of these encounters end, she pulled off before I could finish "Please, I didn't come anywhere near you."

The rest of my drive consisted of analyzing the situation. Had I cut her off? I certainly didn't think so, but she sure as heck did! Did I just not notice in my morning haze that the van approaching in a 35 mile an hour zone was closer than it had appeared? Why do these people never stick around to allow time for defense? Did she realize that she had over reacted, thus her relaxation before her accusation? I somehow doubt it.

Despite it being so early I begin to grow angry. Later, on the freeway, I am met with the usual 'I have to merge in front of where you are merging or I will never get over so hit your brakes and deal with it' driver and as a result of my earlier encounter I am made even more angry. I begin to picture road raging all over the freeway. Clipping the truck now in front of me, sending him into the blue sedan that wouldn't let me in earlier and then slamming on my breaks to nail the guy who actually helped me by letting me in in the first place. Of course I would never do anything like this, but the fact that the thoughts enter my mind is cause for pause and reflection.

Arriving in work's parking lot, I sit for an extra minute or two, rubbing my eyes and wanting very much to start the day over. I wonder as I vent why it is that I allow such events to dictate my mood. Such a small thing happens and I get so mad that I can't speak to coworkers for a while after I sit at my cube.

Finally, I wonder how I reacted lines up with how the Word says I should have. I did not respond in anger despite what I felt inside, which I suppose was good, and I am sure the woman left examining her position in the whole thing. So, ok. In this case WWJD?

2005-09-15T07:49:00.000-07:00

MBA

Have you ever made an important decision on the spur of the moment? I just did. A guy I work with was talking about starting into his MBA program and how he was going to speak with a counselor and get registered. Sounds good to me. Classes start next week. What have I gotten myself in to?